_

Tolu Fiz Akanee is a thinker, writer and speaker; the author of A-Z Life lessons

Friday, August 27, 2010

Today on STV



At exactly 8:02am today Friday, 27th August, 2010 I was aired on Silverbird TV as I sat in the studio with the presenter in a 15mins interview that bordered on my inspiration for writing A-Z Life lessons, the lessons in the book, and the reading culture of Nigerians. 

In the moments that followed phone calls started rolling in. Family and friends calling to exchange congratulatory gestures, at some point I had 22 unread IMs on my BBM (I've never seen 10 b4!)
Everyone was pleased, proud of me, happy for me, yet others were shocked by my 'packaging' and delivery. Everyone had one good thing or the other to say. Not only were my friends watching, they were watching with their parents!

In the moments that followed my head grew heavy, not that pride heaviness now, my head was just heavy. It didn't feel as light as it used to be. I was processing a million thoughts at once while exploring contrasting emotional states. In that heaviness the tears rolled freely.

I was excited yet bitter
I was happy yet sober
I felt like dancing yet I was in tears
And yes, the tears are flowing freely as I'm typing out these thoughts

It was evidently the best moment of my life
After the calls from my pastor n family friends, Yinka was d first friend to call me n he kept on screaming "this is d dream"
"this is d dream"

True to it, this is the dream
I saw it coming but I never anticipated I wouldn't be able to handle it, each time I sat down to reflect was....*cnt find words 4 it*
As I leaned towards Foluso he reminded me that "HIS grace is sufficient for you"
As I rolled over to Gbubemi's he said "you have nations to handle so get used to it"
I have never felt like this before
I can't find the perfect words to describe this feeling
I think Bukola said "surreal" yeah


I keep juggling between two emotional states firstly because I'm happy, I'm excited and indeed grateful to God. But again, like a said on radio yesterday "I'm starting too early so it's a difficult task maintaining relevance"
This responsibility is MEGA

But I know with GOD, I will pull through


On days like this memories of those cold lonely nites I spent weeping and crying out to God for a first class degree, memories of moments when I thought the heavens had forsaken me, memories of moments when I doubted HIS love for me.....and now I feel like a fool because indeed "HIS ways are not our ways"

As long as we keep at that one thing God has placed in our hands, as long as we remain positive in our disposition toward life, we will see light at the end of the tunnel. 
I would have remained ordinary if I had graduated from the university with my dream first class honours, I wouldn't have explored other talents, I would have been contended with my first class 'big head'
I probably wouldn't be up late every night placing words that I can use to better the lives of others together. It wouldn't have been about my world, it would have been all about me but see what God is doing today. 

Beyond reasonable doubts, God has great plans for each one of us, it's only a matter of time before we realize what HE's been up to all along.  

Just believe

7 comments:

dangana said...

Indeed am proud of ya!!!God is on your side.

NakedSha said...

Awww, thank God oh.

Meanwhile, why bitterness? No oh, no space for that

*Michael Onobote* said...

Indeed this is the dream!
I wish you all the best man. God's grace is truely sufficient.

Myne said...

This is one of the most touching posts I've read in a while. May God's blessings continue to favor you.

Tolulope Akanni said...

Dangana, thanks 4 stopping by. I appreciate

NakedSha, lol...God is helping me

Mikey, thank u! I wish u d best too

Myne, awwww....so this is an award winning post innit? I say AMEN to ur prayers!

Patrinas Pencil said...

As long as we keep at that one thing God has placed in our hands, as long as we remain positive in our disposition toward life, we will see light at the end of the tunnel.

I love your positive energy! You make me smile! Carry on, my friend - god has your course charted. this I believe.

Patrina <")>><

Anonymous said...

Hiya! I just started reading your blog and its really interesting congratulations and may God continue to bless the works of your hands. Do you know the funny thing God will never give you what you cant handle, he wont give you beyond your capability so dont fret about the whole situation being overwhelming. His word says your gift will make way for you and place you before kings. At first, it might seem as if its too much but God always gives you BIG things (things you think are just wow for someone your age) so His name will be glorified, things that seem impossible to you, but dont forget our God is the God of possibilities, with Him nothing shall be impossible. As you develop your gift, Seek God for wisdom amd guidance and you'll definitely be the light of the earth as He has called us to be. Take care and God bless........